I feel numb. Like a stone that no one bother to pick. “Whatever” kind of mood, don’t really care about anything. No reason to write. One regular day replacing other. And I become fucking zombie. Zombie that went to the zoo, to see animals. Trying to be as random as possible, to hide myself under piles of bullshit. Find some kind of source of emotional energy. Feel like a furniture, do I sit on the couch, or the couch siting on me? Don’t really give a fuck about anything. On any other day I would think that it is disgustingly sad, stupid and not worth a second of my time. But today I just don’t care. I’m apathetic like a timber. Not being negative, not being depressed or any other emotional shit. And it’s even not a shitty day, just a day, another stupid day. I try to squeeze my brain like a lemon, but not even one drop of sour juice. Emptiness. After 13 hours at work, 3 hours of sleep before that, and I’m not even tired. Fucking NOTHING!
Lana Del Rey singing about summertime sadness. I know that something is wrong with me, and I don’t know what or why.
Zombie at Zoo
2012.09.28
rapture84 
Comments on: "Zombie at Zoo" (5)
Personally, when I have felt like this, hit a wall of numb and feel nothing, that is when I realize I am depressed… when I am sad at least I feel something, I relate to something, I can cry, I can communicate how I am feeling… its the numbness that scares me… I haven’t been there in a long while – but for me it is the abyss of depression – I can’t communicate it, relate to it, feel it, crawl out of it, there is just nothing… if lasts for any length of time I suggest talking to some-one about it… *hugs* for sharing
Thanks, Andrea!
Talking really helped, also a good sleep, now I feel like a brand new. 🙂
I am glad you are feeling better 🙂
Welcome to my world.
I hope that everything will be ok…