Unpredictable World

It’s very weird how much random and unpredictable this world is. Yesterday I had lunch much later than usual. And I sat next to pretty girl that works with me. She is very attractive, one year younger than me. I talked with her a few times, and generally she seems a nice person. I’m interested in her, but she never gave me any sign. Not so long ago I tried to ask her something unrelated in facebook. From that interaction I understood that she probably not interested. So I left her alone. Anyway romance in workplace is not that good idea. It could lead to very bad atmosphere in workplace, or even to sexual harassment allegations, and it can have permanent influence for all your life. So I tried to be as safe as possible, and just ignore her.
Anyway yesterday I sat next to this girl. And the people around the table told a funny stories, we all laughed. And I had a chance to talk with her a little. She volunteering to help children with homework once a month, with other people from our company. So she told that there are no enough volunteers today, and it would be canceled. I mentioned that I signed up to volunteer too. Actually I signed up because of her. She talked with the person who arrange the volunteers and we were supposed to be in the same volunteer group next week. This gesture on her side give me a little hope that I would have chance to spend with her little time. And maybe she isn’t so indifferent toward me. I’m not delusional, it’s probably nothing, just one positive thought.
Today when I were supposed to go home, coworkers told me that our company started fire people. And the girl that I’m talking today about, is fired. Unbelievable. I understand the importance of work, it is the only think that stabilize my life now, and it could be very devastating to be fired. So I feel bad for her. Also seems that nobody know what are the plans of our company, and how many more people will be fired. Maybe I’m the next.
Now I have 3 reasons to feel bad about: 1. I may lose my job. 2. She lost her job. 3. Another hope of mine are ruined.
It happened so fast, i’m not sure what I feel right now…